Discovery
Admits
humans
Is a
'Dismal
Failure'

by Jim Stanton
Post Los Angeles
April 23, 2010
Is P.F. Jones?

The Discovery Channel admitted Thursday that its largest capitol venture, humans, is a "dismal failure" that may bankrupt the cable outfit.
Coming on the tail of successes planet earth and life, Discovery executives committed $100 million to producing the same quality documentary about Earth's dominant form of life- human beings.
"The logic was sound," said Mike Gunton, executive producer of life and humans. "We just didn't take into account how much people hate other people."
"It sucked!" said viewer Jeff Oxford. "It made me realize how petty and conflicted we've been for thousands of years, constantly thwarting our own progress. I was depressed for like a week."
Critics have also questioned the arbitrary nature of footage included in the mini-series.
"One minute you're watching the moon landing, then it's a clip from the Morton Downey, Jr. show," said viewer Sandy Wilkinson. "And there was way too much about Hitler in there."
Discovery defends the footage.
"We made it all slow-motion," said Gunton, "and Catherine Zeta-Jones did a wonderful job with the narration."
Gunton had hoped humans would sell record DVDs.
Sadly, three weeks after its release, Best Buy and Electro Jones superstores are giving away humans with any purchace over $50.
Gunton is currently rethinking his relationship with the Discovery Channel.
"I don't know if I even want to make pets now," said Gunton.




the mini-series displays an arbitrary array of humanity, from Shakespeare to the molestation episode of Diff'rent Strokes
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