Is it true that you've now put $20 million of your own money into 'RoboNinja'?
Well, if you're going to do something, you should do it right. Like God did, when he made you. You are beautiful.
So you're not concerned that the most expensive movie in history is now three years behind schedule?
That's just numbers. I let the beancounters worry about that. I care about bringing people the most technologically advanced thrill-ride out there.
You haven't heard about 'Avatar,' have you?
Nevermind. Are you disappointed that J.J. Abrahms quit the project after three years?
J.J. was what I call a "Negative Nancy"- always saying, "no no no." It was a bummer having him on set. He'll never go anywhere.
You don't think J.J. Abrahms will be a success?
Sorry, but no- he's too simple-minded. He can't see the big picture.
So you're happy to be working with Michael Bay?
Yeah! We had to add some explosions, but that's okay. Bay's got this great energy- a real upbeat vibe. Kind of like the vibe we've got going.
Are you upset that Will Ferrell quit the movie as well?
That doesn't really matter. The Kitana robot is animated now, so we can have anyone do it. I'm sure Andy Dick will do a much better job.
So you're not upset that Ferrell is writing a book about the project called Tomland?
Yeah, ah- it's just- Don't you usually write a tell-all after the fact? Mr. Funnyman's jumping the gun a little, isn't he?
What about the class action lawsuit that's been filed by current and former female cast members against you?
Some people don't get my enthusiasm the way you do. That's all.
Get your hand off my knee.
Is it true that Bay is CGI-ing you into scenes with your female costars so they don't have to share the set with you?
It worked for Star Wars! Jabba looked great!
So the green screen's working out?
I miss looking into their eyes. You've got great eyes. Can I touch your face?
I have mace.
That's cool. Everything's cool here.
Are you still insisting on script changes?
It's a work in progress. I'm currently pushing to have RoboNinja stop and audit his Thetans before battling the space demons. Oh- there's space demons now.
Are you actively trying to ruin Gemstone Pictures?
Life is about destruction and creation. Who are we to judge?