IJI Apolo- DAMMIT! DID WE MAKE ZOMBIES?!

EXERCISE
2-C

  1. Describe the conflict-of-interest in the corporate parent company having a veteran reporter of its nationally-respected newspaper release controversial company information.
  2. What phrases suggest the reporter was editorializing?
  3. Are the reporter's allusions to vampires and green tumors relevant? Why or why not?
  4. The reporter ends the story abruptly. What vital information about the zombie situation does he fail to report? (Could researching related stories or sister companies answer those questions?)

BONUS:
Rewrite the story. Research and/or make up missing information.

 


by Conner Banks
Post Manhattan Reporter
October 30, 2010


International Jones, Inc., our parent company, announced Monday that-
Goddammit!
Did they make fucking zombies?!
What the fuck is IJI's problem?
Have they no decency?
Or at least common sense?
Apparently this was a joint-fuckup by subsidiaries Integrated Technologies and Jones Health Assurance.
There's a fucking surprise.
The same duo that brought us vampires and the green tumor epidemic is at it again.
It says here that an experiment with a new longevity drug went awry-
Imagine that!
So now we've got freakin' undead.
Thanks, IJI!
And do they eat brains?
Of course they do!
Are they loose?
You know it!
Multiplying?
You betcha!
Fuck this-
I'm going to get a shotgun.
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