Axel Williams
Post Detroit Reporter

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In 2006, Williams was a Post Detroit reporter who was happily married with a newborn baby.
He was abducted on Christmas Eve and smuggled across the Canadian border by a Windsor-based cult, started by a guy named Jim.
Since he never conformed to cult beliefs, Williams was kept in a basement pit for two years where he was fed hallucinagen-laced scraps of food and forced to mend outfits for the stable of callgirls that supported the cult.
After a mass suicide, Axel resorted to eating a callgirl who fell in the pit and fashioning tools out of her bones to climb out.
The cult, it turns out, was a 38-minute drive from his house.
Williams returned to a world that had long considered him dead, where his wife had remarried, his daughter called another man "Daddy," and he had to go back to work immediately to pay child support.
Oh, and he hyperventilates whenever he sees a thong.